Incarnate Key Original and Final Comparisons

 This is a post I've wanted to do since the publication of Incarnate Key. Something I had mentioned before was the major revision this story went through. The main purpose of the revision was to make this story more relevant to the overall series; the original was fun, and had some good ideas and details, but overall it was meaningless to Sabra's development as a character and her role in the Legacy Incarnate. 

This can also give you a good idea of the work I do on my books as both the author and editor. I don't have a huge team to back me up and do the heavy lifting for me, and so I've had to spend a lot of time making the story the best it can be before printing. While the original had some good ideas, many had to be radically altered or removed to make room for something better. (Sorry giant-clawed, giant-winged, GIANT bats!)

Thus I want to present major differences and similarities between the two versions of Incarnate Key. This probably goes without saying, especially since the book has been out for so long, but ...WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! Enjoy!

Major Similarities and Differences in the original and final versions of Incarnate Key

Original	Final
Prologue with Lithia McCail. There was no Tyran.	Prologue with Tyran, who becomes the main antagonist. The prologues with Lithia (for those who may have gotten their hands on very early copies of Books I and II of the Legacy Incarnate) have been removed or will be removed from drafts.
Story proper begins in Wren Point	Story proper begins in Jerenn, with subplots including the lupogryph Abbari tribe, and the ukwil were introduced earlier.
There was no Shemma, Icuar, or the Charrak Brothers	Shemma and Icuar were introduced in BIII. Icuar has a much bigger role to play in later LI stories. The Charrak Brothers played a minor role in BII and BIII, and play another minor role in BIV.
There was no description of the Red Tower, the main city hall building and home to Tridad’s office. It simply shows Sabra appearing indoors.	The Red Tower is described, as well as Sabra’s exertions to enter it. The only thing from the original draft about the Red Tower that stayed in the final 2023 publication was the description of Tridad’s office.
Sabra’s meeting with Tridad is very cordial.	Their meeting is not so cordial. Sabra gets very upset at Tridad’s negligence and bad attitude and shows the vision of the Huth to Tridad, even though she tries to leave on a more cordial note.
A fairy jeweler in Wren Point facet’s Sabra’s chosen emerald and extorts her.	Sabra doesn’t get the jewel faceted until she returns to Crescent Ridge, whereupon the Molouk Jar-an facets it.
Caemorr is absent.	Caemorr has a major story arc. She originally wasn’t in BIII either. In fact, adding her to the Legacy Incarnate has significantly altered the entire rest of the Legacy Incarnate series.
The ukwil kidnap Faerden. They later kidnap Xenta.	The ukwil have not harmed any of the vurys by the time Sabra returns to Crescent Ridge and the Lunar Temple, but the danger of them is real as they slowly begin to spread into Hakor.
Sabra leaves Wren Point and goes straight to Rekkeledak in search of Faerden.	Sabra goes to Crescent Ridge and the Lunar Temple for a few months before going to Rekkeledak. She doesn’t leave until after several foreboding visions and getting a prompting from Luna.
The Molouk Mayble was a major villain.	Mayble was removed completely in favor of Tyran, making the adventure more personal to Sabra.
Xenta tended to be hot-headed and a jerk.	Xenta has a much more thoughtful, light-hearted personality, though he still maintains somewhat of an ego.
Sabra combines the heral horn amulet with the emerald and Eveningstar’s spell at Spiderweb Basin.	Sabra completes the summoning amulet at the Lunar Temple.
The ukwil were self-aware and rode giant bats called ikreks. They could speak and had their own culture.	Due to Hthelath’s curse, the ukwil were no longer self-aware, and didn’t domesticate other animals. They became little more than predators to controlled through magical mirrors.
The ukwil steal Sabra’s armor, Adel, early in the story.	Sabra retains her armor.
The ukwil capture Sabra, and though she’s treated like a guest, she’s confined to the enormous, ancient palace in Jifax. The palace plays a major role in the setting.	Sabra willingly goes to Jifax with Xenta, guided by Tasaru and Firemane, and has free range through the city. There is still a palace, but it doesn't play a role in the story in favor of Hthelath's Sanctum.
The ukwil are nocturnal, and Sabra must adapt to a nocturnal cycle.	The ukwil tend to be more nocturnal, although they can be active any time of the day according to the whims of their masters.
The Ukwil have a king figure of their own race that rules over them.	Hthelath the Guardian rules over the ukwil it controls and is a god-like figure to the Jifaxians.
Jifax was a city that had resided in southern Hakor for centuries.	Jifax was a piece of a city from outside Hakor that was taken skyward to keep the ukwil from spreading into other lands. It flew towards Hakor and crashed into the jungle when Hthelath ran out of energy.
Ukwil meld in order to transform into new things.	Ukwil also meld new things in order to turn into them.
Ukwil only go crazy on no moon nights.	Ukwil have been driven into genetic madness due to Hthelath’s curse. They retain some form of control until a night where the moon never shines, and then they lose complete control.
Xenta is taken to Jifax as a prisoner. When he finds out that Sabra was also taken here, he does all in his power to find her.	Xenta willingly travels with Sabra to Jifax, and neither of them are imprisoned. Both of them can leave the city at any time, but choose not to.
Xenta and Sabra are in Jifax for 6 years.	Sabra and Xenta are in Jifax for only a few months. (AKA How to Ruin the Timeline for your own Series and Create an Anthology to Fix It by .S.A. Thorup)
I explored how semi-sentients cannot read, including the ukwil.	I didn’t explore the concept of this in the final. However, the ukwil were in such a mentally dead state that they couldn’t have bothered to read anyway.
Melding is only a power the ukwil have, and is not necessary to their survival.	To sustain themselves, ukwil must meld objects or beings, which is what starts to drive them from Jifax after it lands.
Reader gets more insight into Sabra’s journal entries in the years between BII and BIII of LI.	I have yet to explore the years Sabra was in Adajerre prior to her time at Baron Roost. The journal entries are absent in the final.
Ukwil mirrors can deflect magic spells	Ukwil mirrors still deflect magic spells. They are also integral to Hthelath's power.
Sabra and Xenta learn the hard way about the no moon nights and are almost killed trying to escaped maddened ukwil.	Sabra and Xenta are warned in advance about the no moon nights and are able to hide during them.
During Sabra and Xenta’s escape from the ukwil during the no moon night, a transformed ukwil bites Sabra’s leg and breaks the femur.	When the parley with Tyran goes wrong, Tyran transforms into a giant dog-like creature, bites Sabra, and manages to crack her pelvis before her and Xenta escape him.
Tasaru appears in a vision to Sabra and emphasizes the importance of Adel.	Tasaru comes in person as an angelic guide to guide Sabra and Xenta to Jifax.
Sabra spends part of the years in Jifax instructing Xenta on magic-making.	Sabra spends some time instructing Xenta on magic-making on the way to Jifax.
While they are in captivity, Xenta explains to Sabra why his parents brought him to Hakor.	Sabra was already aware of Calin and Trent’s situation and how Xenta was a blessing from Zarem should Calin and Trent send Xenta into His service.
Faerden becomes a secondary antagonist and allies with ukwil that are causing a political rift in Jifax. He feels Sabra has been negligent of the Lunar Temple and needs to be removed. He is also deceived into thinking the ukwil king is going to destroy the Lunar Temple.	Faerden remains Sabra’s steady ally, even after her prolonged absence from the Lunar Temple. However, several people and families are disgruntled by her absence and the loss of many young vurys to Vapor and the Huth.
Sabra is threatened into staying in Jifax under house arrest.	Sabra can leave Jifax at any time, but refuses to do so until she has completed her quest.
Sabra has a flashback of an intimate moment with Henry. She ponders in the story about how she will find an elf to marry, as she had promised to Henry.	Unfortunately I was unable to fit a flashback or something similar about Sabra’s relationship with Henry, and Sabra only mentions him to Xenta. Instead I focused on her tragic relationship with the golden owl.
Mayble is a secondary protagonist. Sabra realizes that Mayble stole the uru-u-an (curved arm blades) that once belonged to Valena Maurn of the Draconites.	Again, Mayble was removed from this story, along with any mention of the uru-u-an.
Faerden was originally meant to be the next High Priest of the Lunar Temple. Xenta later is chosen as High Priest.	Faerden’s station remains caretaker. Xenta is chosen to train as High Priest of the Lunar Temple at the end of the story.
One of the secondary characters, an ukwil named Thaemuy, explains the curse of the no moon to Sabra and Xenta. Hthelath also explains more about it later in the story.	Tyran and Captain Jaden explain the curse to Sabra and Xenta. Thaemuy was removed from the final story.
“Key Mirrors” were giant mirrors that were used to operate the city’s gate mechanisms.	A key mirror is a mirror on an ukwil’s body used to connect to a master mirror in order to control the ukwil. Hthelath had distributed the key mirrors to the ukwil, and seeks to regather the mirrors to fuel its power.
All the sentient inhabitants of Jifax were absent, having abandoned Jifax..	There is a small city of sentient inhabitants, descendants of the human soldiers that remained in the city to keep the ukwil trapped while Hthelath raised Jifax to the sky.
Hthelath is a large feline-like creature made of magic bubbles.	It is implied throughout the final that Hthelath is a feline-like creature, although the reader never gets a real good look at it. Most of its physiology is inferred from the general cultural appearance of Jifax (statues, carvings, etc.).
Hthelath was a secondary protagonist that explained to Sabra the origins and curse of the uwkil.	Hthelath became the antagonist next to Tyran. It gives Sabra and Xenta half truths and doesn’t care whether they live or die. However, it doesn’t try to stop them from leaving Jifax until they become an obstacle to its own agenda.
The golden owl was secondary and didn’t make much of an appearance.	The golden owl was a major part of Sabra’s story arc in this book and is integral to moving the series story arc forward. His interactions with her ultimately lead to her mission in BV as given by Aedar Vraegom.
Xenta didn’t have a love interest, and was like a son to Sabra.	Xenta and Caemorr are a couple, and Xenta is still like a son to Sabra.
Sabra speaks to Luna in person in the Lunar Temple garden.	Sabra still speaks to Luna in the Lunar Temple garden. However, I expanded on their conversation and Sabra’s grief over her repeated failures. I also clarify that this is the first time Sabra’s been in the physical presence of Luna since Luna’s Ascension. Any other appearances and interactions in LI thus far have been spiritual and visionary in nature.
Sabra freed Hthelath from an icy prison, whereupon it destroyed all the ukwil Dues ex Machina.	Hthelath remains trapped in its Sanctum, and Sabra and Xenta ensure its self-destruction.
After the ukwil are destroyed, Sabra and Xenta leave the Jifax peacefully.	Hthelath ends up destroying itself and Jifax. Sabra and Xenta escape, but Sabra almost dies in the process.
The primary antagonist, a ukwil, wanted to meld Sabra’s armor Adel in order to become fully sentient. When it attempted to do so, the deflective magicks in the diamond lining reacted to its transformation and killed the ukwil.	Tyran learned that Sabra’s heral horn amulet that summons Eveningstar was divine in nature and wanted to meld it in order to cure himself and use the ukwil for his own ends. When Tyran attempts to meld it, it destroys him, as the spirit in the amulet cannot dwell inside another body.

There are probably some other details I missed, but these are the ones I remember best. If you've read Incarnate Key and went through this list, what were some of the most surprising changes for you? Was there anything you wish I would have kept? Let me know, and thanks for reading!